You Would Tell Someone Else to Get It Checked. Why Are You Putting Yourself Last?

If a colleague told you they had been feeling unwell for weeks, you would probably encourage them to book an appointment. If someone you supported mentioned a change in their health, you would take it seriously. Yet when it comes to your own symptoms, the response can sound very different. You are probably just tired. Work has been stressful. You will make the call when things calm down.

For people working in health and social care, that quieter week can be a long time coming. There is another shift to cover, someone who needs support and a household to keep running when you get home. Your own appointment becomes the thing that can move. Eventually, putting yourself last starts to feel like the only practical option.

Recent findings from the 2026 Bupa Wellbeing Index show how familiar this has become. In a survey of 8,002 UK adults, 56% of employed respondents said they had delayed seeking help for a physical or mental health concern because they did not want to take time off work. These are self-reported experiences, but they highlight a real tension between earning a living and making time for care.

Knowing that you should seek advice does not remove the obstacles. You may struggle to get an appointment around your rota, worry about losing pay or feel uncomfortable asking an already stretched colleague to cover. Some people are frightened of what they might be told. Others worry that they will go through the effort of arranging an appointment only to discover they were making a fuss.

Those concerns deserve understanding. They also deserve a response that goes beyond telling people to take better care of themselves. A workplace that encourages staff to seek help needs to make that possible in practice, through clear arrangements for appointments, respectful conversations and a culture where reporting a health concern does not invite suspicion or guilt.

There can be a particular pressure on people whose job involves caring for others. Being dependable becomes part of how you see yourself. You are the person who notices, organises and reassures. Moving into the position of needing help can feel unfamiliar, especially if you are used to carrying on regardless. You may even judge yourself more harshly than you would judge anyone else.

The same guilt can appear when booking time away from work. You know rest matters, but immediately think about who will cover and how the team will manage. Our article on annual leave guilt and why taking time off is part of good healthcare explores that related pressure. Rest and medical attention each need space in your life, and a health concern should not have to wait until your next holiday.

One useful starting point is to notice the promise you keep making to yourself. “I’ll call next week” may be a sensible plan once. If you have repeated it for a month, it has become a delay. Choose a specific next step: contact your GP practice, ask how appointments are arranged or find the letter you have been meaning to respond to. You do not need to know what is wrong before asking for advice.

Before an appointment, it can help to write down what has changed, when it started and how it affects your daily life. Include the things you might otherwise brush aside when someone asks how you are. Perhaps you are struggling to get through a shift, avoiding activities you usually enjoy or repeatedly waking during the night. Giving an honest account helps the professional assessing you understand why you sought help.

Routine care can slip just as easily as appointments for symptoms. A screening invitation stays unopened, a review is postponed or a reminder disappears beneath everything else on your phone. Our related article, Six Health Checks Every Man Should Book This Year, offers a prompt to think about preventive health. Which checks are appropriate depends on your age, history and individual circumstances; a concern or new symptom should be discussed rather than saved for a routine check.

For people managing long-term conditions, the effort of keeping track of care can itself become demanding. Appointments, tests, medication reviews and work commitments all compete for space. Joined-up care is a relevant part of that wider conversation, explored in our report on Haslemere Health Hub and checks for people with long-term conditions. If you are struggling to manage appointments or understand what is due, tell your healthcare team and ask what support or coordination is available.

Technology can make the first step easier, but it can also provide endless ways to postpone it. Looking up a symptom may feel more manageable than speaking to someone, particularly late at night. The difficulty comes when repeated searching takes the place of getting advice. Our article on creating a healthier relationship with technology is a useful companion read. Use trusted health information to prepare questions, while remembering that an online search cannot assess your individual situation.

Putting your health on the agenda may also require a straightforward conversation at home. Someone else may need to handle the school run, make dinner or take responsibility for a task you usually absorb. You can explain what you need without presenting your appointment as an inconvenience for which you must compensate everyone afterwards.

The standard you apply to yourself deserves some attention too. Think about what you would say to a friend describing the same concern. Would you tell them to wait until they were less busy? Would you expect them to prove they were ill enough to deserve an appointment? Giving yourself the same consideration can help you recognise when you have been asking too much of yourself.

You do not have to reach the point where you cannot work, sleep or cope before asking for help. If something is persistent, changing or worrying you, seek advice. The appointment you keep moving belongs in your diary too.

This article provides general wellbeing information and is not a substitute for individual medical advice. For urgent health concerns in the UK, contact NHS 111; call 999 in a life-threatening emergency.