Sunday Edition: The Day I Realised My Son Was Always Watching

As parents, we spend years trying to teach our children.

• We tell them to be kind.
• To work hard.
• To tell the truth.
• To treat people with respect.
• To never give up.

We hope they’ll listen. But one day I realised something that changed the way I think about both parenting and leadership.

My son, Max, wasn’t learning most from what I said. He was learning from what I did.

They are always watching

Children have an incredible ability to notice things we don’t realise we’re showing them.

• How we react when plans fall apart.
• How we speak about other people.
• Whether we keep our promises.
• How we treat someone who’s having a difficult day.
• Whether we admit we’ve made a mistake.

They notice all of it. Not because they’re judging us. Because that’s how they learn what “normal” looks like.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised something. Adults aren’t that different.

Leadership works the same way

Every organisation has a culture. But culture isn’t created by policies. It’s created by behaviour.

Your team notices whether you stay calm during a crisis. They notice whether you celebrate other people’s success. They notice how you speak about clients after meetings. They notice whether you treat everyone with the same respect, regardless of their job title.

Most importantly…They notice what you do when nobody is asking you to.

Leadership isn’t performed during presentations. It’s demonstrated in ordinary moments.

We don’t need to be perfect

One of the biggest myths about leadership is that leaders have to get everything right.

I don’t believe that.

• I’ve made mistakes.
• I’ve made decisions I’d approach differently today.
• I’ve lost my patience.
• I’ve worried more than I should have.
• I’ve had days where I felt completely overwhelmed.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is consistency.

It’s showing people what accountability looks like.

• When we get something wrong, we own it.
• When we make a promise, we do our best to keep it.
• When we expect respect from others, we show it first.

That’s what people remember.

The standards we walk past

There’s a saying that I’ve often come back to over the years. “The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”

I think there’s another version of that. “The behaviour you demonstrate is the behaviour you give others permission to copy.”

If I stay positive when things become difficult, my team is more likely to do the same.

If I gossip, others learn that gossip is acceptable.

If I’m willing to keep learning, asking questions and admitting when I don’t know something, it creates space for everyone else to do the same.

People don’t just hear our expectations. They watch our example.

Leadership is lived, not announced

I’ve never been particularly interested in leaders who tell everyone they’re a great leader.

The people I’ve admired most rarely needed to say it. Their teams already knew. Not because of a speech. But because of thousands of small moments.

• The way they listened.
• The way they treated people.
• The way they behaved when nobody was keeping score.
• That’s the kind of leadership I’ve always wanted to build.

Not perfect. Just authentic.

Max probably doesn’t realise it

I don’t think Max has any idea how much he’s taught me over the years.

Like every parent, I hope I’ve helped shape the person he’s becoming.

But in many ways, he’s shaped me too. He’s reminded me that people learn far more from what they see than from what they hear.

And that’s a lesson I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.

Whether you’re a parent, a registered manager, a CEO or the newest member of a team, someone is learning from the example you set.

That doesn’t mean you need to be perfect. It doesn’t mean you’ll never have a bad day or make the wrong decision. It simply means your actions speak long before your words do.

So, if there’s one question worth asking ourselves this week, perhaps it’s this.

If someone copied the way I behaved today, would I be proud of the leader they became?