10 Books Every Man Should Read for His Wellbeing

Looking after men’s wellbeing doesn’t begin and end with exercise, diet and an annual health check. The books we read can help us understand everything from relationships and masculinity to mental health, purpose, sleep and what to do when life becomes difficult.

Men are often very good at reading books that teach them how to do something. Build a business. Improve fitness. Manage money. Develop a skill. Become more productive.

Reading something that asks you to look inward can be a slightly harder sell.

Yet men’s wellbeing encompasses far more than physical health. Relationships, friendships, loneliness, stress, identity, sleep, emotional health and having a sense of purpose can all influence how life feels. And while a book isn’t a replacement for professional help when somebody needs it, the right one can give you language for something you’ve struggled to explain, challenge something you’ve believed for years or simply make you realise that somebody else has felt this way too.

So, this isn’t a list of ten books telling men how to become better versions of themselves. You don’t need another project.

These are books that might simply help you understand yourself, and the people around you — a little better.

1. Reasons to Stay Alive — Matt Haig

Matt Haig’s Reasons to Stay Alive is a deeply personal account of his experiences with depression and anxiety, but it is also a book about hope and what can exist on the other side of an extremely difficult period.

One reason it works particularly well for this list is that it doesn’t read like a clinical textbook. Haig writes from lived experience about what it feels like when your own mind becomes an incredibly difficult place to inhabit and about gradually finding reasons to remain engaged with life.

For men who aren’t naturally drawn to conventional self-help books, that personal approach may make difficult subjects feel more accessible. It is also a useful read for somebody trying to understand what depression can feel like for a person they care about.

Best for: Difficult periods, understanding depression and remembering that how life feels today isn’t necessarily how it will always feel.

2. I Don’t Want to Talk About It — Terrence Real

The title alone probably earns this one its place on a men’s wellbeing reading list.

Psychotherapist Terrence Real’s I Don’t Want to Talk About It focuses specifically on depression in men and explores how it can be hidden behind behaviours that aren’t always immediately recognised as emotional distress.

That’s an important conversation because struggling doesn’t always look the way we expect it to look. A man who is having a difficult time may not necessarily describe himself as sad or openly ask somebody for help.

This is one of the heavier books on the list, but potentially one of the most valuable, particularly for men who have spent much of their lives believing difficult emotions are something to manage privately.

Best for: Understanding male depression and why some men find it so difficult to talk about what they’re experiencing.

3. The Will to Change — bell hooks

In The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, bell hooks examines masculinity, emotional expression and men’s relationships with love.

The book challenges cultural expectations that can teach boys and men to suppress parts of their emotional lives and considers the consequences those expectations can have for relationships with themselves and others.

You don’t have to agree with every argument in a book for it to be valuable. Sometimes the best books are the ones that make you stop, disagree, reconsider and keep reading anyway.

This is one of those books.

For men interested in understanding how ideas about masculinity may have shaped the way they communicate, connect and experience relationships, there’s plenty here to think about.

Best for: Men interested in masculinity, relationships and emotional connection.

4. Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? — Dr Julie Smith

This isn’t specifically a book for men, but perhaps that’s precisely why it belongs here.

Clinical psychologist Dr Julie Smith brings together practical psychological tools for dealing with everyday difficulties including anxiety, criticism, low mood, confidence and motivation. The book is organised into short sections, meaning readers can go directly to the subject that’s relevant rather than having to read hundreds of pages before finding something useful.

That accessibility makes it particularly useful for somebody who doesn’t usually read psychology or self-help books. You don’t need to become fascinated by therapy terminology or psychology theory. You can identify what’s happening, find the relevant chapter and see whether any of the strategies help.

Think of it less as a book you read once and more as something you can return to when life throws something at you.

Best for: Practical everyday tools for managing the ups and downs of life.

5. What About Men? — Caitlin Moran

Caitlin Moran turns her attention to modern masculinity in What About Men?, looking at subjects affecting boys and men through her characteristically humorous and provocative style.

It’s a different proposition from many of the books on this list. Rather than being a straightforward wellbeing guide, it opens up conversations about what it means to be a boy or man today and some of the pressures, expectations and contradictions surrounding that.

And that’s valuable.

Men’s wellbeing conversations shouldn’t only begin once somebody is struggling. We also need to talk about the cultural environment boys grow up in, the messages men receive and why certain subjects remain difficult to discuss.

Some readers will agree with Moran more than others — and that’s perfectly fine. A book capable of starting a conversation can be useful even when the conversation includes, “I’m not sure I agree with that.”

Best for: Starting conversations about what modern masculinity actually looks like.

6. Man’s Search for Meaning — Viktor E. Frankl

This is the oldest book on our list and perhaps the one with the most enduring reputation.

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning draws partly on his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps and partly on his psychological thinking about meaning and purpose.

It isn’t a conventional wellbeing book, and its historical subject matter makes parts of it understandably difficult reading. But its exploration of meaning, suffering and the way human beings respond to circumstances beyond their control has resonated with generations of readers.

Purpose is an important but sometimes overlooked part of wellbeing. Work can provide it, as can parenting, relationships, creativity, community, faith, service, hobbies or countless other things.

Frankl’s book asks us to think about what gives life meaning even when circumstances are extremely difficult.

Best for: Perspective, purpose and thinking about what makes life meaningful.

7. The Good Life — Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz

We spend an extraordinary amount of life pursuing things we assume will eventually make us happy: money, achievement, status, possessions and professional success.

The Good Life draws on lessons from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the long-running research project directed by psychiatrist Robert Waldinger. Waldinger and co-author Marc Schulz place relationships and human connection at the centre of the discussion about what contributes to a fulfilling life. Waldinger is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and co-author of the book.

That feels particularly relevant to men’s wellbeing.

Adult friendships can require deliberate effort. Careers become demanding, people move, relationships change and children arrive. Suddenly the friend you once saw three times a week becomes somebody you’ve been meaning to call for six months.

This book is a useful reminder that relationships aren’t simply something nice to fit around the important parts of life.

They are one of the important parts.

Best for: Men who have been investing heavily in their career and perhaps not quite enough in their relationships.

8. The Comfort Book — Matt Haig

Not every wellbeing book needs to teach you something. Sometimes you want something that simply makes a difficult day feel slightly less difficult.

Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book is made up of short reflections on hope, life and getting through challenging periods. You can read several pages or open it briefly and find something to sit with.

That makes it particularly useful for people who don’t want to commit to a traditional self-help book. There are no complicated systems to implement and no wellbeing programme to complete.

And perhaps there’s a wider lesson in that too. Looking after ourselves doesn’t always need to involve improvement.

Sometimes comfort is enough.

Best for: Keeping beside the bed for the days when life feels heavier than usual.

9. Why We Sleep — Matthew Walker

Men’s wellbeing conversations can become so focused on mental health that we forget some of the fundamentals. Sleep is one of them.

In Why We Sleep, neuroscientist and sleep researcher Matthew Walker explores the science of sleep and its relationship with our bodies and brains.

Whatever you make of the finer points of the wider sleep debate, the basic subject deserves far more attention. Busy adults frequently sacrifice sleep to create additional time for work, parenting, exercise, socialising or simply having an hour to themselves at the end of the day.

Eventually, midnight becomes 1am, the alarm still goes off at 6am and caffeine is expected to negotiate the difference.

Sleep isn’t wasted time. And regularly being exhausted shouldn’t be treated as evidence that you’re particularly hardworking.

Best for: Anybody who keeps insisting they “don’t need much sleep”.

10. The Boy Crisis — Warren Farrell and John Gray

Our final recommendation looks not just at men’s wellbeing, but at how boys become men.

The Boy Crisis examines challenges the authors believe are facing boys and young men, including education, fatherhood, purpose and development. It has generated both interest and debate, and readers may not agree with every conclusion or proposed explanation.

But the broader subject is an important one.

If we want healthier adult men, conversations about men’s wellbeing cannot begin at 40. We need to think about boys too: how they develop friendships, who they talk to, where they find purpose, how they understand masculinity and what they’re taught about dealing with difficult emotions.

For fathers in particular, this book may raise questions worth discussing even where you don’t agree with every answer the authors provide.

Best for: Fathers and anyone interested in the wellbeing of boys and young men.

You don’t need to read all ten

This isn’t another list to complete. Nobody from Daily Round is going to appear at the end of the year and check whether you’ve finished your Men’s Wellbeing reading challenge.

Pick the book that speaks to where you are now.

If you’re struggling emotionally, perhaps start with Reasons to Stay Alive or Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? If relationships have taken a back seat, try The Good Life. If you’re thinking about masculinity and emotional connection, explore The Will to Change. If you’re a father thinking about the world boys are growing up in, The Boy Crisis may give you plenty to discuss.

And if everything feels like a bit much at the moment, perhaps start with The Comfort Book.

Reading won’t solve every problem, and a book should never be treated as a substitute for medical or mental health support when somebody needs it.

But books can do something rather special.

They can put words around feelings we haven’t been able to explain. They can introduce us to somebody else’s experience. They can challenge beliefs we’ve carried for years. And sometimes they can make us feel considerably less alone in something we thought was happening only to us.

Men’s wellbeing is bigger than “being strong”

There is nothing wrong with strength. Resilience, responsibility and the ability to keep going through difficult circumstances can be enormously valuable qualities.

But strength doesn’t have to mean silence.

Looking after yourself can mean exercising and eating well, but it can also mean getting enough sleep, investing in friendships, understanding your emotions, asking for help, finding purpose and having people around you with whom you don’t need to pretend everything is fine.

Perhaps one of these books starts that conversation.

And if nothing else, spending an evening reading instead of scrolling through your phone probably isn’t a bad place to begin.

Keep looking after you

Wellbeing looks different for everyone, and sometimes the most useful thing is simply finding the right information at the right time. Explore more from Daily Round with our dedicated Women’s Health, Men’s Wellbeing and Wellbeing for Leaders sections, or head to the Leaders Library for our latest book recommendations, ideas and inspiration for life in and outside work.

Or, if you’re ready to get back to what’s happening across the sector, catch up with today’s Daily News for the latest health and social care stories.