7 TED Talks Every Man Should Watch for His Wellbeing

Men’s wellbeing is about considerably more than going to the gym, eating better and getting an annual health check. How we deal with stress, relationships, loneliness, vulnerability, sleep and difficult emotions matters too, and sometimes a 15-minute talk can start a conversation we’ve been avoiding for years.

There is still a powerful expectation placed on many men to cope. Keep going. Sort it out. Don’t make a fuss. Be strong for everybody else. While attitudes towards men’s mental health have changed significantly, knowing that it’s acceptable to talk and actually sitting down and talking about something are two very different things.

That is partly why TED Talks can be so useful. You don’t need to announce that you’re embarking on a journey of self-discovery or commit to reading a 400-page psychology book. You can put your headphones on, give somebody 15 or 20 minutes and see whether anything they say resonates.

For our Men’s Wellbeing selection, we’ve chosen talks that explore different parts of a man’s life rather than focusing solely on mental illness. Some are specifically about men and masculinity; others explore emotional health, relationships and sleep in ways that are relevant to all of us.

Here are seven worth watching.

1. Why I’m Done Trying to Be “Man Enough” — Justin Baldoni

What does it actually mean to be a man?

Actor and filmmaker Justin Baldoni uses his TED Talk to examine his own relationship with masculinity and the expectations men can absorb about strength, sensitivity and vulnerability. Rather than arguing that traditionally masculine qualities need to disappear, he asks whether qualities such as courage and strength can also be used to become more emotionally open.

It’s an interesting starting point for a Men’s Wellbeing series because so many other conversations come back to this issue. If you’ve spent years believing that being strong means keeping difficult feelings to yourself, asking for help can feel like failure rather than something entirely normal.

The talk asks men to reconsider that assumption. Vulnerability and strength don’t necessarily sit on opposite sides of the table.

Watch this when: You find it much easier to say “I’m fine” than explain what’s actually going on.

Watch Justin Baldoni’s TED Talk

2. On Masculinity and Mental Health — Rob Wang

This is one of the more difficult talks on our list, but also one of the most directly relevant to men’s mental health.

Entrepreneur Rob Wang draws on his own experience of suicidal depression to explore the relationship between mental health and ideas about masculinity. TED describes the talk as examining how misguided notions of masculinity affected his own mental health and his subsequent approach to helping other men.

It’s an important conversation because encouraging men to seek support isn’t simply about telling them that help exists. We also need to understand why some men feel unable to use it.

If someone’s idea of masculinity has taught them to hide vulnerability, deal with problems alone or view emotional difficulty as weakness, reaching out can require overcoming years of learned behaviour.

Watch this when: You need reminding that struggling and being strong are not mutually exclusive.

Watch Rob Wang’s TED Talk

3. Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid — Guy Winch

If you injured your knee badly enough, you probably wouldn’t spend six months pretending it wasn’t happening.

Emotional injuries are often treated very differently.

Psychologist Guy Winch argues that we should take our emotional health more seriously, exploring experiences including loneliness, rejection, failure and loss. His central argument is that we should practise emotional hygiene with something approaching the attention we give our physical health.

For men, that’s a particularly useful comparison. Looking after your physical body is widely understood as sensible maintenance. You don’t need to wait until you’re seriously ill before thinking about diet, exercise or fitness.

Perhaps emotional health deserves the same approach.

You don’t need to wait until everything has fallen apart before admitting something hurts.

Watch this when: You’re brilliant at looking after everybody and everything except what’s happening inside your own head.

Watch Guy Winch’s TED Talk

4. What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness — Robert Waldinger

Career. Money. House. Car. Promotion. Success.

It’s remarkably easy to spend decades pursuing the things we’re told will eventually make life feel successful.

Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger offers a different perspective. He directs the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a long-running longitudinal study of adult life, and his famous TED Talk explores lessons from the research about happiness, health and relationships. A central theme is the importance of good relationships and social connection to wellbeing.

This deserves a place in a men’s wellbeing list because friendships and relationships can become surprisingly easy to neglect in adulthood. Work gets busier, families grow, people move and friendships that once happened automatically begin requiring deliberate effort.

Wellbeing isn’t only about what’s happening inside you. The quality of the relationships around you matters too.

Perhaps message the mate you’ve been meaning to catch up with after watching this one.

Watch this when: Life looks successful on paper, but you’re wondering whether you’re investing enough in the people who actually matter.

Watch Robert Waldinger’s TED Talk

5. Sleep Is Your Superpower — Matt Walker

Sleep is one of those wellbeing basics that almost everybody knows is important and an extraordinary number of us still neglect.

Sleep scientist Matt Walker’s TED Talk examines what happens in the brain and body when we sleep and discusses sleep’s relationship with areas including learning, memory and the immune system. TED also has a series of shorter talks from Walker exploring subjects such as emotions, memory and practical approaches to better sleep.

For men juggling careers, parenting, relationships, exercise and everything else competing for time, sleep can become the thing sacrificed to make the rest fit.

But regularly treating sleep as optional isn’t a particularly impressive wellbeing strategy.

Sometimes looking after yourself isn’t complicated. It’s going to bed.

Watch this when: You’re surviving on caffeine and insisting that five hours is “plenty for me”.

Watch Matt Walker’s TED Talk

6. This Could Be Why You’re Depressed or Anxious — Johann Hari

Journalist Johann Hari’s TED Talk explores depression and anxiety through the research and expert conversations he encountered while investigating the subject. He focuses particularly on social and environmental factors and unmet needs that may contribute to emotional distress.

It’s worth approaching this talk as one perspective within a much larger and more complex subject. Depression and anxiety can have multiple contributing factors, and a TED Talk isn’t a substitute for individual medical or psychological advice.

What makes it valuable for this list is the conversation it encourages. Emotional difficulty isn’t evidence that somebody has failed at being a man, partner, father, friend or professional.

Sometimes something isn’t right. And acknowledging that is considerably more useful than spending years pretending everything is fine.

Watch this when: You’ve been telling yourself to simply “snap out of it”.

Watch Johann Hari’s TED Talk

7. The Bridge Between Suicide and Life — Kevin Briggs

A warning before this one: Kevin Briggs’ talk deals directly with suicide and may be difficult viewing for some people.

Briggs spent years as a California Highway Patrol officer patrolling the area around San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, where he encountered people considering suicide. His TED Talk shares some of those experiences and focuses heavily on the importance of listening to somebody who is in profound distress.

It is sobering rather than easy viewing, but it belongs on this list because conversations about men’s wellbeing cannot stop at productivity, sleep and exercise. Sometimes somebody isn’t merely having a bad week. Sometimes they need genuine help.

And sometimes the person beside them doesn’t need to produce the perfect words or immediately solve everything. They need to listen, take the situation seriously and help that person connect with appropriate support.

Watch this when: You want to understand more about the importance of genuinely listening when somebody is struggling.

Watch Kevin Briggs’ TED Talk

Men’s wellbeing needs a bigger conversation

There isn’t one version of men’s wellbeing. It’s physical health and mental health. It’s getting enough sleep and having people you can talk to. It’s relationships, purpose, stress, loneliness, confidence and learning what to do when life doesn’t go according to plan. And importantly, looking after yourself doesn’t require you to become a completely different kind of man.

You don’t have to suddenly enjoy talking about every emotion you’ve ever experienced. You don’t have to meditate at sunrise, keep a gratitude journal or transform your life overnight. Perhaps you start smaller.

Watch one talk. Send one message to a friend. Get an earlier night. Tell somebody when you’re having a difficult time. Book the appointment you’ve been putting off.

Men have spent generations being encouraged to be strong.

Maybe our definition of strength simply needs to become a little broader.

Keep looking after you

Wellbeing looks different for everyone, and sometimes the most useful thing is simply finding the right information at the right time. Explore more from Daily Round with our dedicated Women’s Health, Men’s Wellbeing and Wellbeing for Leaders sections, or head to the Leaders Library for our latest book recommendations, ideas and inspiration for life in and outside work.

Or, if you’re ready to get back to what’s happening across the sector, catch up with today’s Daily News for the latest health and social care stories.

Providers looking to support their wellbeing can also view this Everyday Wellbeing guide for further ideas and inspiration, while those exploring men’s health and wellbeing can also view this guide on why break-ups can hit men differently and view this guide on why men ignore symptoms for further insights into men’s emotional and physical health.