Why Adults Need More Things to Look Forward To

Ask a child what they are looking forward to and they will often have an answer immediately. A birthday, a school trip, a sleepover, a holiday or simply what they are having for dinner may be enough to create genuine excitement. Ask an adult the same question and there is sometimes a long pause.

Adult life can become dominated by what needs to be managed rather than what is waiting to be enjoyed. We think about deadlines, appointments, bills, school schedules, household jobs and the needs of other people. The future becomes a list of responsibilities instead of somewhere we are pleased to be going. Having something to look forward to will not remove those pressures, but it can change how it feels to move through them.

Anticipation is part of the enjoyment

The pleasure of a positive experience does not necessarily begin when it happens. It can start days, weeks or even months earlier.

Planning a holiday can bring moments of happiness long before a suitcase is packed. Booking dinner with a friend can make a demanding week feel more manageable. Knowing that you have protected an evening to read, watch a film or order your favourite food can give an ordinary day a small but meaningful destination.

This anticipation gives the mind somewhere pleasant to visit. It interrupts the constant rehearsal of problems and reminds us that the future contains more than work, worry and obligation. The experience itself does not have to be extraordinary. Sometimes looking forward to Friday evening is enough.

Adults often postpone enjoyment

As responsibilities grow, pleasure is easily pushed further down the list. We tell ourselves that we will arrange something after the busy period, spend money once finances feel more secure or make time for friends when life calms down. Life rarely calms down by itself.

One demanding period is replaced by another. Children move into a different stage, work develops new pressures and family members continue to need support. If enjoyment is always scheduled for the point at which nothing else requires attention, it may never happen.

This does not mean ignoring responsibilities or spending money you cannot afford. It means recognising that enjoyable experiences are not an optional extra reserved for people with uncomplicated lives. They are part of what helps people cope with complicated ones.

Looking forward to something is not the same as wishing your life away

Some people feel uncomfortable focusing on a future event because they have been encouraged to “live in the moment.” Being present is valuable, but it does not mean we should remove anticipation from our lives. We can appreciate today and still be excited about tomorrow.

Looking forward to something is not necessarily a rejection of your current life. It can be an expression of hope, the belief that something good is still ahead. During difficult periods, that belief can be especially important. There are days we enjoy for what they are and others we survive partly because we know they are leading towards something better. Both experiences are human.

The best plans are not always the biggest ones

Holidays, celebrations and major events can create powerful anticipation, but they cannot happen every week. If we rely only on large occasions, long stretches of life may feel like a waiting room between them.

Smaller plans keep enjoyment closer. It could be meeting someone for coffee, beginning a new book, visiting a local market, watching the next episode of a programme or deciding that Saturday morning will be spent somewhere you love. You might plan a walk with the dog, try a new recipe or arrange a video call with someone who makes you laugh.

These experiences may sound ordinary, but ordinary pleasure is still pleasure. A life cannot be built entirely from spectacular moments. Most of it happens between them.

Caring for others can make your own future disappear

People who spend much of their time looking after others can become skilled at creating things for everybody else to anticipate. They remember birthdays, organise family occasions, plan children’s activities and make sure the people around them have enjoyable experiences. Their own enjoyment is often treated as less urgent.

When somebody depends on you, making plans can be difficult. Arrangements may have to change, energy can be unpredictable and leaving the house may require organisation that other people never see. It can become easier to stop planning anything for yourself. However, carers also need a future containing something other than the next appointment or responsibility. The plan may need to be flexible, small or close to home, but it should still belong to you.

You are allowed to anticipate something that is not centred on somebody else’s needs.

Shared anticipation strengthens relationships

Having something to look forward to together can bring energy back into relationships that have become focused on logistics. Partners can easily spend their conversations discussing money, work, children and household arrangements. Families may be together every day without sharing much that feels enjoyable. A plan creates a different kind of conversation. Where will we go? What shall we eat? What do we want to do when we get there? It does not have to involve an expensive date or family holiday. A film night, Sunday breakfast or walk somewhere different can give people a shared point of connection.

Friendships benefit from this too. Saying “we must meet soon” keeps a friendship in theory. Choosing a date gives both people something real to anticipate.

It helps to place enjoyment in the diary

Many of us carefully schedule everything we owe to other people but expect enjoyment to happen spontaneously. Then the free hour arrives and is quickly filled by another job. Putting something enjoyable in the diary does not make it less genuine. It protects it.

You might choose one small thing to look forward to this week, one slightly larger plan this month and something more significant later in the year. They do not all need to cost money, involve travel or require other people.

The aim is not to create another demanding schedule. It is to make sure your future includes events you want to reach, rather than only tasks you need to complete.

Give yourself a reason to feel excited

Adults do not outgrow the need for excitement. We simply become better at pretending it is unimportant. There will always be practical matters to manage, and not every stage of life will allow for elaborate plans. Yet even during difficult times, a small pocket of anticipation can provide relief. It reminds us that the way life feels today is not the only way it will ever feel.

So ask yourself the question we ask children so easily: what are you looking forward to? If you cannot think of anything, that is not a reason to feel guilty. It is a reason to put something there.

Keep looking after you

Wellbeing looks different for everyone, and sometimes the most useful thing is simply finding the right information at the right time. Explore more from Daily Round with our dedicated Women’s Health, Men’s Wellbeing and Wellbeing for Leaders sections, or head to the Leaders Library for our latest book recommendations, ideas and inspiration for life in and outside work.