Sunday Edition: The Cost of Always Being “On”

There was a time when work ended when you left the office. The phone stopped ringing, the filing cabinet stayed closed until the next morning.

If something could wait until Monday, it usually did. Those days feel like a lifetime ago. Today, work fits into our pockets, our phones never really switch off. Neither, if we’re honest, do we.

Leadership follows you home

Running a business has taught me many things. One of them is that leadership doesn’t stay neatly between nine and five. It comes to dinner. It sits beside you while you’re watching television. It wakes you up at three in the morning because you’ve suddenly remembered something you forgot to do.

Sometimes it arrives before you’ve even had your first cup of tea. Not because someone expects it to, because your mind never quite stops leading.

More than one role

Like many people, I’m not just one thing.

• I’m a business owner.
• I’m a mum.
• I’m a partner.
• I’m a daughter.
• I’m a friend.

Each of those roles deserves time, attention and energy. The challenge is that they don’t politely take turns. They all seem to want you at exactly the same moment.

• A work call arrives just as you’re trying to help with homework.
• A message appears while you’re having dinner.
• An urgent email lands halfway through a family conversation.

You’re answering one person while worrying about another. Always trying to make sure nobody feels like they’ve come second.

Technology has changed the rules

I love technology. In many ways, it has made running a business easier. I can speak to colleagues on different continents within seconds. I can solve problems from almost anywhere. I can make decisions quickly.

Those are incredible advantages, but convenience has quietly created expectation. Because we’re reachable, people often assume we’re available. There’s a difference.

The invisible pressure

Most leaders don’t need someone to tell them to check their emails.

• We’ll do it anyway.
• We’ll answer one last message before bed.
• We’ll quickly reply during the school run.
• We’ll promise ourselves we’re only looking for two minutes.

Half an hour later, we’re still working. Not because anyone demanded it.

• Because we care.
• Because people rely on us.
• Because leadership carries responsibility.

But responsibility without boundaries can become exhausting.

What are we modelling?

This question has made me stop and think recently. If my team see me replying to messages late every night, what message am I really sending? If I’m always available, do they feel they should be too?

As leaders, people don’t just listen to what we say. They watch what we do. If we tell people to prioritise wellbeing but never demonstrate it ourselves, the message becomes confusing. Culture is shaped far more by behaviour than by policy.

Switching off isn’t selfish

For a long time, I thought taking a break meant I wasn’t working hard enough. Now I see it differently.

Switching off isn’t about caring less. It’s about making sure you still have something to give tomorrow.

The people we love deserve our attention.

• Our children deserve parents who are present, not just physically there.
• Our partners deserve conversations that aren’t interrupted by notifications.
• Our friends deserve someone who is genuinely listening.
• And we deserve moments where our minds are allowed to rest.

I’m still learning

I’ll be honest, I haven’t mastered this. There are still evenings when I pick up my phone far more than I should. There are still weekends where work creeps in. There are still moments when the balance isn’t balanced at all.

Perhaps that’s the reality of modern leadership. Not perfection. Just trying to make better choices a little more often.

Leadership asks a lot of us. It asks us to make difficult decisions, to support other people, to solve problems, to carry responsibility. But before we’re leaders, we’re human beings.

We’re parents. Partners. Friends. Sons and daughters. And while our businesses need us, so do the people waiting for us at home. Perhaps the greatest challenge isn’t learning how to be available all the time. It’s learning when it’s okay not to be, because the emails will still be there tomorrow. Some of the moments that matter most won’t.